by Roslyn Loring; from the novel, To Bed a Beauty by Nicole Jordan
1. Do not present yourself as the savior of this young heart, nor, on the other hand, refer to me at twenty-and-two as “long in the tooth” (as one certain duke is reputed to have done). Any “saving” that needs to be done I can well do myself.
2. If you take pride in making women melt from pleasure from your amorous skills (again, referring to a certain duke), please remove my name from your social register. I prefer not to wind up in a puddle at any man’s feet.
3. If your point of honor is that you only keep one mistress at a time (duke reference, as above), do not even think of pursuing this maiden’s fair heart.
4. If you can have your pick of females, please do so. The process reminds one too much of selecting a mare for purchase at Tattersall’s.
5. Embrace the wonders of this world (as well as me on a frequent basis). A jaded air may serve a man well with the ton, but it will win him no favor with me. Let me see the boy inside who still marvels at a peregrine’s flight and the ocean’s might.
6. Do seek my opinions on worldly matters. My attention will be held by a mind that welcomes a woman’s take on the issues of the day. If a handsome face and well-constructed shoulders come with the attentive mind, hurrah!
7. Do remember to laugh in good times and bad. The man who can tickle my sense of humor (and, on occasion, massage my feet) is a man with whom I could never stay angry.
8. If you see all eligible females as the enemy (duke reference, as above), you are destined to endure some fierce battles. And, I dare say, you shall eventually endure defeat. Ladies of the realm, to arms!
9. Do be a man of honor. Respect is the currency of my heart. I look for a man whose word is his bond and whose name is respected not only by the aristocrats of this world but by the men and women who tend to this world’s daily business. (A man who lies to me may well find himself sprawled on his back. I may look delicate, but I possess a strong right hook.)
10. Never underestimate the value of a true, loving heart. If I pledge you mine, I will expect same in return, and woe be to the man who dishonors such a sacred vow. I do, after all, have two sisters who also possess strong right hooks.
by Arabella Loring, From the book, To Pleasure a Lady by Nicole Jordan
1. Marrying a man so that he can produce a legitimate heir to carry on his bloodline is preposterous. I am not now—nor will I ever be—breeding stock.
2. The Marriage Mart is similarly ludicrous. When one reduces the balls and other social occasions of The Season to the core of their existence, they bring to mind a showing of livestock for breeders.
3. Men are such fools. The intrinsic worth of a woman does not diminish as her years advance. Having been described as “long in the tooth” (trust me, my dears, twenty-four is not an advanced age), I confess an ardent desire to relieve any gentlemen of his instruments for chewing who judges a woman’s marriageability in relation to age.
4. Far too often an arranged marriage does breed one thing—misery. I, for one, do not wish to waste precious years of my life in the company of a rogue in the guise of a nobleman.
5. I am perfectly capable of earning an income sufficient for my needs—and perfectly capable of spending it as I see fit.
6. I have no desire to be under the thumb of any man. Under the total being of a man, perhaps, without the thumb.
7. I do not wish to burden myself with the arduous task of relieving a husband of the illusion that he can dictate to me.
8. If I were to wed, by law my husband would become my “lord and master,” and I would legally be his possession. His possession. No man will ever rule me like that.
9. All is not fair in love and war. Men possess the upper hand, so to speak, but, ah, my friends, we ladies possess cunning, subterfuge, trickery, and some physical attributes which we cleverly learn to use to our advantage.
10. If I marry, there will be one man in my life. What if I want two?
So, my dears, what do you see as the advantages of remaining single? And, of course, I will entertain dissenting opinions …
A 7 year old girl asks her dad. ‘Why does my leg cramp and couldn’t feel anything?’ Dad answered: “your leg becomes numb if you lay still and don’t move because blood doesn’t circulate properly.’ When the girl turned 18, she fell in love and experienced her first heartbreak. 1 day, dad saw his daughter lying still while holding her chest. Dad asked her, ‘what’s wrong?’ The girl said, “I’m lying still while holding my breath. I’m trying to make my heart cramp so I could be numb and would be hurt no more!’
I hate camera flashes. ^They’re fine by me. A baby’s laughter is so hard to resist. So cute.
I can eat 2 cups of frozen yogurt at the same time. :>
^Haven’t tried that yet, but sounds easy and yummy.
I hate thick clothes.
When people don’t say Hi back to me, i right away think of them as snobs. I have a goldfish. It’s dead. I have a Blogspot account.
They say i’m pretty good at photography. My music genre is pop. ^Pop, rock, alternative…any works for me. :)
I know someone who’s really, really good in Photoshopping. I’m a big, huge fan of Cobra Starship. ^Gaaabe. :”>
I’m sitting on the floor right now.
Swimming is the kind of sport i’m really good at.
^Biking goes for me. Convertibles are cool cars.
^We have one! But it’s vintage. :> My friends make me laugh!
I have a Mac, and i photobooth a lot.
^Especially with friends, yeah.
I tried blending milk with ice and matched it with cereals. It’s good.
^I don’t like plain cornflakes. But the frosted ones are really good. Water over Coke, yes!
I drink more of Gatorade. Or Vitamin water. Whichever works.
I’ve been to this boring conference and it was boring. Sometimes i just can’t help correcting people.
I collect beanies! I read a lot of comics…but no, i am not a geek.
^You just reminded me of Glee! I love Glee. :”>
^You watch Glee? I don’t find it nice. At all. Cookies + Cupcakes + Chocolate = The 3 Cs of Heaven. My I.D. picture looks weird.
I get amazed easily. Gag shows are candid funny! I love watching gag shows.
Toast are good in the morning. And orange juice. Yummyy. I use emoticons a lot.
I have my own trademark. Like Paris Hilton’s “That’s Hot!”. ^You rich enough to do that? Well i know i’m not. :))
Tuna sandwich over ham! ^No, ham forever.
^BACON. If i had lots of money, i won’t spend it much.
^Wow, thrifty there. I suggest you splurge even just a little. :P
I’ve been to a cruise, and it was a lovely trip.
I’m starting to love wearing tank tops. Unexpectedly.
^I wear a lot of those, best Summer piece! Patron Tequila, drunk on margarita! ^I had this song stuck in my head for weeks already.
Cookies and Cream is the best ice cream there is since Vanilla. ^I’d like to invent a three-in-one flavor ice cream. :> Exercising sounds tiring, but good for me.
Sometimes i wake up early when i’m in the mood.
I don’t drink coffee, but i love the smell of it.
My favorite kind of pie is Apple.
I like Jessica Alba more than Megan Fox. Sometimes i get the feeling i’m being followed.
I just hate being stared at. I’ve been humiliated in class a lot of times.
^Okay, maybe not a lot, but it’s still humiliating!
Choco fountains are amazing and yummy.
Grilled cheese for lunch, why not?
I never liked cherries. ^Blueberries are forever the best.
I like wheat bread more.
Sometimes i don’t have the guts to tell someone what i really don’t like about them.
^I always do. I try to be honest. Math’s my hatest, but the Math teacher is kinda cool. :>
^Since when?? :)) When i’m in a hurry, i take really quick baths and i’m off!
Drive-Thrus are nice.
I hate getting mosquito bites. Sheesh.
How to Secure a Second Chance with a Woman You Still Want
Based from the story, To Romance a Charming Rogue by Nicole Jordan
1. Protect and defend her—and to be honest, I’ve had to do a good bit of that lately. Eleanor’s prince might have a pretty face, but he is rather clueless when it comes to a team of runaway horses.
2. Make yourself helpful. Accompany her to the Pantheon Bazaar to shop, join her on a morning horseback ride in Hyde Park, entertain her would-be suitors (even the spendthrifts, hedonists, and pretty faces). She will come to know you better, and you may be able to help yourself to a caress or two.
3. Advance her causes, even if her latest cause du jour is trying to win a husband who isn’t you. You will at least reap the pleasure of the stray kisses that come with playing the part of the competition and not tattling.
4. Enjoy what she enjoys, from melancholy operas (have a handkerchief handy) to scientific contrarians (my Eleanor has a soft spot for anyone who succeeds in going against the grain of society).
5. Go the extra mile, even if that involves shimmying up a tree two stories to her bedchamber to finish a conversation. She may just give you credit for taking drastic measures to secure a moment of privacy with her.
6. Make her laugh. At the least it will keep her off guard; at best, it will remind her how rare it is to share a good laugh with the same man whose kisses can curl her toes.
7. Remind her how physically compatible you are, that what you’ve shared thus far is only a taste of what can be expected from your lovemaking once you’re wed. (But also assure her that marriage should be based on more than carnal pleasure, so that this suspicious seductress doesn’t dismiss this whole train of thought as simply a manifestation of the vexing question of lust).
8. Take a vow of celibacy. You know you haven’t been attracted to another woman since you met her anyway. Then proceed to make your case with her, one kiss at a time.
9. Remember that it really shouldn’t be that difficult to turn the tables to your advantage. In Eleanor’s case, the Italian prince of hers is just a mess. (For saint’s sakes, the man has almost gotten himself killed three times since hitting the English shore.)
10. Have the audacity to ask her to marry you—more than once! The question will slip into her subconscious, mingle with the memory of your very best scalding kisses, and (one hopes) erase the memory of anyone else, such as an inept Italian prince!